Today’s Song of the Day (8-3-08)

My pick for Sunday, August 3rd, 2008 is:  “Oh Mother” by Christina Aguilera

This song has a very special meaning for me as my mother, my brothers and I were all victims of my dad’s physical and emotional abuse.  My brave mom stayed with my dad through eighteen years of misery and pain before she was able to gather the strength and courage to leave the marriage.  It seems like it was another lifetime ago but yet my memories are as clear as what I ate for breakfast this morning.  When you are the victim of abuse, the emotional scars can wreak havoc on your daily life for the rest of your life.  I am so fortunate to have come out of my childhood mentally unscathed as I was still only 8 years old when my father finally left.  I can’t say the same for my brothers.  But I am so thankful that my mom had the courage to finally say enough is enough in an era when divorce was just not what it is today.  As a mother of three today, I often think about the abuse we all endured and try to put myself in my mom’s shoes.  What hell she must have been going through not knowing what was going to happen from moment to moment.  There is some irony though…my first marriage which was a huge mistake, I endured much emotional abuse.  I did not tell a soul for seven years.  I endured and endured and endured trying to be the best wife possible to my then husband.  But it wasn’t until he got physically abusive with me one morning on October 30, 1999 and I told him I wanted a divorce that evening.  I was silly enough to endure mental torment from the man but the moment he laid his hands on me, my whole childhood and the ramifications that my mother endured as a result of physical abuse was on the forefront of my mind that whole day.  But I took care of things that very evening and have a wonderful life now that I couldn’t have EVER imagined. 

I pray that you women out there who may be in vulnerable situations will have the strength to leave your abuser.  Physical abuse and emotional abuse are 100% intolerable.  As a matter of fact, right now I will tell you that the cyber stalker I have spoke of over the year is none other than my own flesh and blood…my own brother.  He is the nastiest, most vile, most self-tormented human being I have come across (even worse than my ex!)…as a result of my father’s abuse.  And to this day my own brother tries to cause me emotional harm from across the country several times a week.  But you can only be emotionally abused if you allow yourself to be.  You see, I own that power today. The power to say that I will not be victim of someone else’s misery. To say that I am strong in the woman I am today would be a complete understatement.  I am woman, hear me roar.  I am emotionally untouchable to those who would want to cause me harm.  After all that I have endured between my father and my ex-husband, I certainly will not be abused by my own brother as well.

I truly hope you enjoy this video and that this song touches you as it has me.  This particular video is from the first time Christina Aguilera sang this song before an audience.  She was very emotional while singing the song and had given a brief but very tearful explanation of the song before she started (which is not on this video).  Her father used to beat her and her mom up and he too was finally given the boot by her mother when Christina was eight years old.  And look at her now!!